Children need healthy boundaries. Too many boundaries bring about the effect of a solid wall: restriction. Two few boundaries open the doors to insecurity and can easily turn into aggression. Sometimes parents try to be “friends” to their children. Being a friend is fine, but children need much more than that. They need a father and a mother. They will surely have lots of friends during their lifetime, but they will have only one mum and dad.

Parents can give their children that essential support by setting healthy boundaries. This will help stability in the home and quickly pay dividends.

The term “authority” does not go down very well nowadays, because it awakens feelings of someone who is “authoritarian”. But there is a big difference between being authoritarian and being authoritative. Fr Kentenich, founder of the Schoenstatt movement, defined real authority in this way: “Its root meaning is auctor esse, which means to be the originator – the author – of life. That is the deeper meaning of the word. It means bringing forth new life in another human being. There is outer authority and inner authority. Outer authority without inner authority will never educate well.”

Parents who love their children need never fear that they are an authority for them. Authority is a service to life that is given in love. That is how we support our children and create healthy boundaries.

Take, for example, fatherhood seen in this light. Every human father should be a “window” to God. God the Father is consistent and unchanging. Every dad should be consistent in bringing up his children. God the Father is everywhere. Every human father can be always present in the lives of his children. He “carries” them within himself always and they feel “carried” by their dad.

God the Father is wisdom. Every dad should know his children well and in turn know how much he can expect from them. God the Father is holy. Human fathers should also strive to love God above all things and love our neighbour as ourselves. That is real holiness. God the Father is mercy and justice. Dads too, should reflect this in the values of honesty and authenticity.