Children learn all the time. They are like “sponges” that soak in images and information and experiences at an amazing rate. Children watch, observe and learn. The second step in family education is being attentive to life and how to notice what is needed at a certain time, and in a certain place. This calls for a real ability to observe, and observe well. It requires, indeed, a certain finesse.

We can make a comparison between two very different methods of forming the human heart, using the world of nature. Imagine you have a plant that is growing well, and this particular kind of plant needs a special nourishment. However, you don’t know what kind of nourishment is appropriate. So what do you do? You can take all kinds of plant food and place them all around the plant, in the hope that one of them will be the right one and the plant will continue to grow well.

However, there is another way. You can observe and study this kind of plant so well, that you know exactly what nourishment it needs. You do not need to put in a whole load of plant food. You can select the exact one that the plant really needs and will bring forth the best results.

The second way is the best way without any doubt. Parents need to know the needs of their children so well that they notice – through loving observation – what “nourishment” is needed to bring the best results. This kind of “noticing” requires a special feel and a practised intuition. Fr Kentenich spoke often about having a “living connection” with someone. It means that you know this person so well that you understand his needs and what will benefit him.

Some parents sit down together and take a “close look” at each of their children. They make a list of their good qualities and talents and also specifically the areas where their child still needs to grow. Remember, every child is unique, and every child deserves our undivided attention.

Parents can ask themselves: What have I observed in my children today? What are their particular strengths and limitations? Could it be that I can be too self-centred sometimes, and my view is blocked? Parents can ask the Lord to make them good observers so that they can support what is coming to life in their children.