Further advice and links

We are unable to be pure unless we love. True love might bring mockery and even rejection from those we thought friends.

Men and women who strive to live chastely may well turn down possibilities for pleasures that, while they seem attractive, will not bring happiness. They do this not because they lack love or passion. They do it because their love and passion is so strong.

It is possible to be pure if you want it. It must be freely chosen, and will probably be quite difficult. But what noble and good thing is not difficult to achieve?

Here is a prayer, written by St Thomas Aquinas, that may be of help to those of us striving to live purely.

Dearest Jesus!

I know well that every perfect gift, and above all others that of chastity, depends upon the most powerful assistance of your providence, and that without you a creature can do nothing.

Therefore, I pray that you defend, with your grace, the gift of chastity and purity in my soul as well as my body. And if I have ever received through my senses any impression that could stain my chastity and purity, I ask you, who are the supreme Lord of all my powers, to take it from me, so that I may with a clean heart advance in your love and service, offering myself chaste all the days of my life on the most pure altar of your divinity.

Amen.

There are some good answers to tricky questions here; if you would like to find out more about healthy relationships, there are also plenty of resources available.