Becoming clearer so as not to drift...

Usually our vocation becomes clearer over time. If you are living your Catholic faith, and being open to the Lord and to all that is happening in your life, you should gradually feel a pull in one direction, a growing conviction that one way of life is right for you. This process of discernment takes time, and it is much more than simply trying to make practical decisions. 

Yet there are two reasons why you might come to a time in your life when you need to make a decision of some kind. First, because things have become clearer, and you feel you are ready to take a step in a certain direction. Second, because things are not at all clear, and you have been going round in circles about your vocation for a long time, and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere. In this case it can be helpful, with the support of a wise person you trust, to try and make some kind of provisional decision about where you are going. There is a risk that you could drift through life without making any decisions; always looking for signs that will tell you what to do, without actively taking responsibility for your own choices. You could become a ‘serial discerner’ and fall prey to ‘paralysis through analysis’.

Sometimes God lays before us different possibilities, and wants us thoughtfully and prayerfully to come to a decision about what seems best. It is not a final decision (we don’t make a final decision until the day of our marriage or ordination or solemn profession), it is simply a decision to test the water instead of hovering at the edge, to start down one particular path instead of standing at the crossroads. We shouldn’t be surprised that God sometimes invites us to make a choice. Sometimes, but not always, we learn more about God and about ourselves by acting than by waiting. We are often looking for certainty, for objective signs. But one of the ‘signs’ of a vocation can be our willingness to try a particular path and see where it leads. He leads us partly through our choices. You don’t have to be certain about the choice, you just have to make the best choice that you can. If you wait for 100% certainty you will be waiting forever.

Here are some tips about how to make a decision when the time comes. You don’t need to use them all, like a checklist – they are simply ideas in case you are stuck.